You have thought about leaving your marriage for a few months. Granted, there is some hesitancy because you know that your life will drastically change. However, you have been unhappy lately as you and your spouse drift apart. You even participated in marriage counseling sessions, but they did not take.
You have grown weary about the current state of your marriage and the goings-on in your life. Divorce is an option, and you know that there likely is no turning back. Before taking that step, it is a good idea to step back, look inward and address some critical questions that only you can answer.
Happiness factor, children’s adaptability
Taking stock of your married life is crucial when considering divorce. Are you happy? Are you still compatible? Are you still in love? Does trust remain? But, then, when seriously considering divorce, you must look to the future, and to do that, you must answer certain questions such as:
- Is happiness within my grasp on my own?: In some cases, the happiness factor is immediate if trapped in a loveless or abusive marriage. In many situations, it takes time to branch out after years of marriage. This is the time to try to branch out, pursue interests you have wanted to and expand your social circles.
- Will I have the financial capability to live as a single person?: There is no easy answer, but expect some initial ups and downs on the financial front. Divorce represents a major change, and you likely must say goodbye to certain perks (country club memberships) that came with your marriage. You now are in control of your finances and may have to make certain sacrifices while sticking to a budget.
- How will my children be affected by divorce?: Your children likely sense something is not right. Understand that anger, sadness, confusion and frustration will surface and must be dealt with. Each child is different, so you may likely have to take a different approach with them. Reassuring them that their parents will remain in their lives is crucial.
- Can I successfully deal with tasks and everyday details that were my spouse’s responsibility?: As a single person, you will juggle many more tasks. Do you understand retirement and other financial investments? Can you sufficiently handle your children’s schedule of activities? Do you know your children’s favorite activities and even meals? You may have to take a crash course in learning about these things.
At a time like this, it is a good idea to consult with trusted friends or family members who may have gone through divorce. Your first task is to take care of yourself. This will put you in a solid state of mind when considering these important questions and coming up with the answers just right for you and your family.